I’ve almost made I don’t know how many posts. But then I discard them. 

I have a lot going on in my head. 

I’m not depressed. Far from it. 

Just tired of putting my thoughts out there to have them stomped on. Or ignored. 

I enjoy being single for a myriad of reasons. 

I’m a fan of having my own space. I’m tired of being hurt. I love me. I get along with myself quite well. That chick is awesome. I know who I am and what I want. I know what I’m capable of. I enjoy silence. I don’t have to explain myself to anyone. I’m happy. 

But I’m aware of my aloneness. 

I miss having a person to bounce my thoughts off of. To make plans with. Even if those plans are pjs and Netflix for an entire day. I miss sharing my life. I miss making two cups of coffee in the morning. I miss writing random love notes, and writing frivolous cute poems dedicated to the way my partner sleeps. I miss listening. I miss comfortable silences while my partner and I do our own things together. I miss having someone to help me tackle diy projects. I miss hugs. Kisses. Sex. (It’s been a year, and a goddess has needs yo.)

But I fear my kids getting hurt. Again. 

And so I ignore the wants and needs and desires. I focus on the kids. 

But ignoring doesn’t erase the hope. 

Maybe. Someday. 

I’ve earned a someday, right?

Don’t mind me. I’m just thinking.