So there I am, separating a weeks worth of laundry for my family of four. You know, for my 3 boys and myself.

I was wondering how many socks would be missing, wondering why they haven’t made dryer sheets that moisturize your hands when you fold clothes, trying to ignore what that stain could be on the toddlers pants… The normal stuff.
And then the laundry gnomes decided to fuck with my head.
I have this pile of socks in my room. All of the ones missing their mates. I always go to it when I do a load of whites. (Shut it, they will all be reunited someday, I don’t care what you say). So I grab the pile and start separating the new clean socks.
And that’s when I found this:

20121212-154626.jpg

Yeah. That isn’t mine. Nor does it belong to any of my boys. So not only did they claim three new socks for their sacrifice, but they decided to give me one in return. With hearts on it. I feel like I’ve been warned.
Or a bit like Dobby. Am I a free elf now!?
What does this sock mean!? What do I even do with this? Is this a threat? Peace offering? Do I have a child that has secret socks that I was unaware of until now? I’m so confused.
And this is why mommy is getting into the wine so early.