I’m a night owl by nature. I’ve always felt a pull to the moon and stars. This is where I rediscover peace. This is where I clear my mind. This is where I find myself.
I recently went through a divorce. Before that was finalized, let alone filed, I was having an extremely hard time coming to terms with the changes that were coming to my life. I hadn’t had the time to absorb what was happening, why it was happening, nor what I was going to do once it was all said and done.
I was out-of-state with my oldest son for 5 days. One night, while he was busy with family, I grabbed a blanket and headed outside. Mind you, this was in Paonia, CO at the end of November. Freezing doesn’t even begin to describe the lack of warmth. During the day it was an insanely cold 16 degrees. Now imagine midnight. Yeah.
But once I laid out the blanket, huddled in my cold weather gear, and let myself get lost in the vista of stars before me, I was no longer aware of the temperature.
I spent 2 hours out there. I made a lot of decisions about what to do from there, made self discoveries about the woman I am, and made plans about my future and what I wanted out of life. I added a lot to my bucket list that night.
If this had not been done on that night, in a town that didn’t have a cell phone signal, when I didn’t have three kids to look after, or a computer to distract myself with… I may not have ever “found” the time to just be alone with myself and my thoughts. I wouldn’t have discovered the path to finding myself again.
I’m very glad I did. I’m very glad to start getting to know myself. And for the most part, I think I’m pretty amazing.